How to Braid Hair in Ten Easy Steps

Braiding hair.  It's easy once you know how.  And I'll tell you how...in ten easy steps.

1. If you're a beginner (and you must be if you're reading this) start with a strand of hair that is relatively long.  Five to six inches should be enough.  And if this is your first time, try to find someone else's hair to braid.  It will be easier that way until you can do it to yourself.
2. Separate the strand into three equal parts.  This step always takes the longest for me because I'm a bit OCD about making sure that they are equal.
3.  Think of each strand as an insecure pre-teen girl.  The strand on the left we will call Lauren (for Left, get it?). The strand in the middle is Maisy and the strand on the right is Rachel.  Now, what do insecure pre-teen girls want to be?  The center of attention!
4.  So Rachel is jealous of Maisy because Maisy is in the middle.  So we take Rachel and move her in between Maisy and Lauren.  Now Rachel is the center of attention and is happy.  But Lauren and Maisy are not so happy.  (You can start with Lauren if you want to, but I'm right-handed so I just start with the right side.)
5.  Lauren wants to get her turn in the spot light.  So we take her and move her in between Maisy and Rachel.  So now Lauren is in the center and Maisy should be to Lauren's right and Rachel should be to the left.
6.  But Maisy wants to be back in the center so we take Maisy and move her in between Lauren and Rachel.
7.  Now you know the pattern.  Just take the strand on the right, move it to the center, then the strand on the left to center, repeat and continue.
8.  Continue the pattern of fighting pre-teen girls until you are about one to two inches from the bottom of the strands.  Then STOP!
9.  Now you have a choice to make, you can either a. just let the braid be but this method won't let your braid last long.  This method is preferred for if the person does not want a braid or if it looks totally horrible.  And the second method b. find a rubber band/string/hair tie and wrap it around the end of the braid.
10.  Voila! You have completed your braid! Now you can show your handiwork to the world and braid all sorts of this from wrapping ribbon to shoelaces to spaghetti noodles.  Enjoy your new found skill.